Deadly Is the Kiss Page 24

  Juliana could feel the color leach from her face as she wrapped her arms around herself. “You can be an ass if you want—it isn’t going to make me run. I just…I want you to understand why I was so protective. I want you to know what they’re capable of.” She swallowed, forcing the words from her tight throat. “You see…the banishment to the Wasteland wasn’t—”

  “It’s too late,” he growled, cutting her off. “I don’t want to hear any more.”

  Standing near the foot of the bed, she said, “Ashe, please.”

  “I’m serious,” he ground out, shoving his hands in his front pockets. He started to pace before the dark window, his powerful muscles coiling and flexing beneath the soft cashmere of his sweater. “Let’s just leave it and try to get some rest.”

  “Are we at least going to talk about the Burning?” she asked, wiping her damp cheek with her sleeve.

  He cut her a sharp, warning look from the corner of his eye. “No, we’re not.”

  “Just tell me one thing,” she whispered, her heart pounding to a deep, painful beat. “Is the Burning the only reason you made that deal with me? Was it only because you needed to…ease yourself?”

  He rubbed his hand over his mouth, then exhaled a rough breath. “This isn’t a conversation we need to be having right now.”

  She licked her lips again, and could taste the salt of her tears on them. “It was quite a risk you took, sleeping with me when you had no intention of claiming me.”

  His breaths were coming a little faster, a muscle pulsing in the hard line of his jaw. “I wanted you and I took you,” he scraped out. “Nothing could have stopped it from happening.”

  Even though Juliana knew she should stop talking, she couldn’t hold the husky words inside. “I’ve heard the need for a Burning male to release the serum in his fangs is excruciating. Your control is impressive, Ashe.” A bitter smile touched her lips. “But then, it probably helped that you don’t even like me.”

  He slanted her another narrow look. “Don’t do this.”

  Her own temper started to fray. “This isn’t fair,” she snapped, irritated that the blasted tears wouldn’t stop even when she was angry. “I’m opening myself up to you completely, and you’re still blocking me out. Still blaming me, as if my reasons mean nothing to you.” Her voice was getting louder. “Do you always bury things you aren’t willing to deal with behind a wall of rage? Do you always have to control every bloody situation?”

  He was on her before the last word had even left her mouth, taking her down to the bed and crushing her beneath his body. “You never know when to stop pushing, do you?” he growled, pinning her wrists over her head and taking her mouth in a kiss that was hard and hungry and raw, before tearing his mouth away. “Do you see any control now, Jules? Do you?”

  She stared up into the glittering depths of his eyes, his gorgeous face right over hers. “The Burning—”

  “Fuck the Burning. I wanted you before it even started. From the first goddamn moment I ever saw you!” Pulling in a deep breath, Ashe tried to claw onto his control, but it was shattered, violent hunger and an eviscerating tangle of emotions ripping through him, breaking him down. “The heat in my veins came later,” he choked out, trying to make her understand. “It might have made things more painful for me, but it didn’t make me want you more. I already wanted you so much I bloody ached with it!”

  “Then why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I didn’t trust you! I still don’t!” he shouted, his fangs dropping from his gums with a searing burst of heat. He tried to fight it, but couldn’t. Before he even knew what he was doing, he’d lowered his head and was running his lips up the tender side of her throat. The scent of her skin made him crazed, the beat of her pulse roaring inside his head as if it was his own. “After what you’ve done, I doubt I could ever trust you,” he added. “But strangely enough, none of that seems to matter worth a damn, because I still want to mark you as mine so badly I can taste it.”

  She turned her head to the side, moaning his name as her body shivered with need, and Ashe knew that she was his for the taking. That she wouldn’t fight him. He could drive his fangs into that pale, fragile skin and release the serum right into her vein, while her hot blood poured like liquid pleasure over his tongue, sweet and warm and rich. He was so damn tempted to do just that, if only he could find a way to get past his anger. But he…couldn’t. It’d braided itself into his friggin’ system, seeping into his blood and bones and cells. He was angry with her for not trusting him and for thinking he couldn’t handle an arrogant prick like Delacourt. For having ever let that miserable bastard put his hands on her in the first place.

  But more than anything, he was furious that she’d made him start thinking this thing between them might actually have a chance. For making him believe in her, when she’d been lying to him all along.

  The only answer was to do something to make her push him away, because he didn’t have the strength to do it himself.

  And it had to be done now, because he was only seconds away from losing it.

  Forcing himself to release her wrists, Ashe pulled away from her body and moved to his feet at the foot of the bed. Scrubbing one hand over his jaw, he said, “Tell me something, Jules. Were you as easy for Raphe as you are for me?”

  She blinked up at him, looking confused. “What did you say?”

  He raked his gaze over her body, then locked it with hers. “I asked if you were as easy for Raphe as you are for me? Is that why you wanted him so badly? Because he could flip your switch without even touching you?”

  “You son of a bitch,” she whispered, her expression stricken as she quickly scrambled off the side of the bed.

  “Just answer the damn question.”

  Folding her arms around her body, she shook her head and stared back at him with glistening eyes, looking as if he’d just stabbed a knife between her ribs. “No,” she said in a low, whispery voice. “I wasn’t…easy for him, Ashe. But if you want all the gritty details of our night together, then I’ll tell you.”

  “Can’t wait,” he said, though he was starting to feel a little sick inside.

  She lifted her quivering chin, and said, “Raphe was already losing control by the time he pushed inside me.” Her trembling was getting worse. “And by the time he was done, I was almost dead. He’d clawed me, ripping my flesh all the way down to the bone in some places. And when he reached his release, he nearly tore my throat out.”

  Ashe could feel his blood draining out of his face, while a cold drop of sweat slipped down his spine.

  “I was barely conscious when I ran from his house,” she said, her gaze shifting to some distant point on the far wall as she continued her story. “That’s why I wasn’t with my parents when they died. Instead of traveling to Court with them, I was at home, recovering from my injuries. And after my parents were killed, Lenora went before the Council and told them that…” Her voice cracked, and she took a deep breath, hugging herself tighter as she started to rock on her feet, completely lost in the memory. “Lenora told her fellow Council members that I had used my body to seduce her son in the hopes of gaining a child from him. A child she said I would use to blackmail Raphe and demand the Delacourts’ support in my family’s supposed scheme to take over the Council. Then she…she argued that I should be kept from ever committing such a crime again. So they carried out the necessary procedure before we were sent to the Wasteland. And all so Raphe and his mother and however many other Medeiros are working with them could keep their little secret.”

  A blinding, gut-wrenching rage unlike anything Ashe had ever known tore through his body, nearly bringing him to his knees. “Are you…are you telling me that those bastards used a sacrificial knife on you? That they cut out your womb with one?” A Deschanel couldn’t heal from an injury inflicted by one of the Council’s sacrificial knives, which was why they were often used during punishments.

  “Of course they did.” She brought her
shimmering gaze back to his. “What choice did they have? By the time I had to stand before them, I was healed from my injuries. It was just my word against Lenora’s.” A bitter smile twisted her lips. “And I was just a scheming little liar, right?”

  “Don’t,” he groaned, a piercing sliver of cold stabbing him through the heart. He felt like the biggest bastard alive for every ugly, hurtful word that had come out of his mouth that night.

  Her smile fell, and it suddenly felt like she was staring right through him, her voice barely audible as she said, “I knew it was crazy…thinking this thing could work between us. How could it, when I’m already dead inside?” She pressed one hand low on her belly, the look on her face a million miles away. She was closing down on him, right before his eyes, and it scared the living hell out of him.

  “Damn it, Juliana. I’m sorry.” He started to make his way toward her, but she quickly held up her hands, the silent gesture asking him to stay back. He wanted to ignore it and grab her anyway, keeping her locked in his arms, but she looked like she might crack if he touched her.

  “I’d like to take a shower now,” she said in that same eerie monotone, making her way around him.

  “Jules, please,” he whispered, his chest aching as he watched her walk away. “I don’t know why I acted like—”

  “It doesn’t matter,” she said, walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

  Feeling like he’d had a hammer taken to his skull, Ashe just stood there and stared, until he heard the lock click. Then he dropped down on the foot of the bed and buried his head in his hands, wondering what was wrong with him. Revulsion for the things that he’d said to her coiled through his insides, making him ill.

  Damn it, he should have just listened to her when she’d been trying to explain her reasons! But he’d let pride and jealousy control his mouth, spouting words that he could never take back. And all because he’d allowed his past to color his perception of Juliana from the start, when she’d only been trying to protect him.

  An anguished groan ripped its way from Ashe’s chest as he compressed his head between his hands, wishing he could kick his own ass. He deserved that and more for judging her so unfairly and for making her cry. For pushing her to relive such traumatizing memories.

  Another tormented groan worked past his lips, his muscles tremoring with rage. There were no words for the fury that poured through him when he thought of what they’d taken from her. He wanted blood for what they’d done to her…for what they had made her suffer. When he was done with the Delacourts, he was going to take on the Council next. No way in hell was he going to let those spineless old men get away with what they’d done. Lenora might have been the one who demanded Juliana’s punishment, but those fucking inept bastards had given her the authority to carry it out. Whatever her hold over them, it must be a strong one. The Council’s power was standing on a rickety house of cards, and after what he’d learned tonight, Ashe intended to bring the whole thing crashing down.

  Knowing there was work to be done, he exhaled a ragged breath and finally lifted his head, his gaze sliding toward the closed bathroom door. He hardened his jaw as he stared. It was going to take time to heal the hurt he’d caused Juliana, but he’d find a way to do it. And in the meantime, he’d find a way to put an end to this nightmare once and for all.

  Needing to talk to Gideon, he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and saw that he had several missed calls, but no voice mail messages. Though a few of the calls were from a blocked number, there was also one from his brother. There were no bars showing on the phone’s screen, which meant that he’d missed the calls because he didn’t have reception in the room.

  Damn it!

  Moving to his feet, Ashe pushed his phone back into his pocket and scrubbed his hands down his face. Then he grabbed his jacket from where it’d been knocked on the floor, and walked over to the bathroom door. “Gideon tried to call my phone but I don’t have any reception in here,” he said, raising his voice so that she could hear him over the running water. “I’m going to run downstairs to see if I can get reception outside, but I’ll come right back. Okay?”

  He listened for her response, but wasn’t surprised when she didn’t give him one. He was going to have a long, uphill battle to win her back, but he’d do whatever the hell it took. Crawl after her on his knees and beg her forgiveness for days on end. Destroy the Delacourts until they were nothing more than a stain on the ground. Whatever it took, he’d do it, because she was that important to him.

  Juliana had marked him in a way that was deeper than the lust, deeper even than the Burning, as if she’d laid claim to the innermost parts of his soul. To everything that he was, and all the things he would ever be. Hell, she was the most vital, important thing in his world, and losing her would destroy him, because he…

  Oh, Jesus. The truth exploded into his brain like a bloody rocket. He loved her. Had fallen madly, head over heels, out of his freaking skull in love with her. Pressing a shaky hand to his stomach, Ashe took a deep breath as the stunning realization swept through him in a hot, shivering rush. He had to reach out and brace a hand against the wall until his head stopped spinning, his lips twitching with what would have been a smile if he weren’t feeling like such a bastard for how he’d acted.

  Still trembling from the mind-blowing knowledge that he’d lost his heart to the beautiful little vampire, he grabbed the key on his way out of the room. After locking the door behind him, he walked down the stairs and headed toward the front entrance. A woman near the door gasped when she caught sight of him, and a grim smile lifted a corner of his mouth. He probably looked like he’d been kicked in the face, his self-loathing over how he’d treated Juliana blasting out like a neon sign for the entire world to see. The only thing that could make it worse would be dealing with Gideon’s smart-ass attitude, but he didn’t have a choice. He needed to find out what his brother had to say, and then tell him what he’d learned from Alex and Juliana, in case something happened to him and he didn’t make it.

  Making his way outside, Ashe stood at the side of the building and took out his cell phone, relieved to see that he had reception again. He punched Gideon’s name on his contacts list and waited for his brother to answer, keeping a careful eye on his surroundings. He’d talked to Knox earlier, and the shifter had warned him that he’d heard the payment on the assassination orders against the Sabins had just been raised to twenty million. For that kind of money, they were going to have every two-bit criminal on the continent gunning for them, eager to get their hands on the prize.

  Gideon’s phone rang seven times before his brother finally answered.

  “Ashe?” Gideon asked, sounding a little breathless.

  His eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Where are you? Are you alone?”

  “Hold on a sec.” There was some soft murmuring, the sound of creaking floorboards as a door closed, and then Gideon said, “Okay, it’s just me. What’s up? You and Jules okay?”

  Understanding his brother had just left some woman’s bed, he said, “It’s good to know you’re working hard at Court to help me out, Gid.” His tone was dry. “I really appreciate it.”

  “Hey, you have no idea how hard I’ve been working,” Gideon shot back, sounding insulted. “I’ll have you know that a woman’s bedroom is one of the best places to get information!”

  With a sharp sigh, he said, “Christ, whatever. Just make sure you can’t be overheard, because I have something important to tell you. But first, what were you calling me about? I have a missed call from you on my phone but you didn’t leave a message.”

  “For some reason your voice mail wasn’t picking up. But it was nothing big. I just wanted to hear how it went at Mo’s,” his brother explained, “since you suck at staying in touch.”

  “Sorry,” he grunted, pulling a hand down his face. “But things got…shit, it’s a long story.”

  “Yeah?” Gideon sounded concerned. “You didn’t run into more ass
assins, did you?”

  “No. But I’ve learned something you’re going to find hard to believe.” He explained about the Medeiros poison and the Delacourts’ bloodline as quickly as he could, pausing only when Gideon would mutter a foul string of curses in response to something Ashe had said. “That’s why they’re so desperate to destroy Juliana and her family,” he concluded, his rough tone betraying his fury. “If Raphe’s getting ready to use his mother to make a power play, the last thing he needs is the truth about the Medeiros coming out. He needs to be positioned first, and then God only knows what he plans to do. With the full authority of the Council in his hands, he’ll control a contingent of Royal Guards that’s large enough to wage war on any species of his choosing.”