The Chase Page 3
I keep telling myself, over and over again, that coming home was the right decision. Jase is from one world, and I’m from another, and our brief weekend together wasn’t the start of some star-crossed Shakespearean romance.
But that doesn’t mean that getting over him is going to be any easier.
Every time I close my eyes, I remember. Remember every sharp, piercing, electric detail. And not just the sexual stuff – though a lot of that is playing front and center in my mind, because the way he made me feel isn’t something a woman can just forget. In fact, I swear there are still echoes of pleasure swirling through my body from the hot, explicit way that he fucked me. And I can’t forget how his big, magnificent body had moved. The way his powerful muscles had coiled and flexed as he rode me, nailing me to the bed with so much mastery and hunger, I know I’ll never be the same.
God, I miss his scent. The tenor of his voice. The way he looked at me, as if I always had his complete and total focus. In my entire life, no one has ever looked at me the way that Jase did, or listened to me as carefully, and I can’t forget it.
I can’t forget him.
If anything, the ache has only grown deeper with each day that’s passed since Angus drove me away from Beckett House, and I’m drowning in it. And knowing that Jase tried to reach out to me only makes it so much worse.
I’d been such a wreck when I was on the train, after I managed to call Lola and have her help me change my flight, that I spilled the cup of coffee I’d bought from the food cart on my phone and the damn thing stopped working. I still haven’t taken the time to get it fixed or buy a new one, because I’ve been so buried in my article – and let’s face it, after paying the exorbitant fee to change my ticket, I’m strapped for cash – so I have no idea if Jase has called and left me any messages. But I’d phoned Lola again, when I finally got home, sounding like a zombie, and she told me that Jase had called her on Sunday night, desperate to find me.
I’m trying not to read too much into the fact that he’d called one of my closest friends, since for all I know he just wanted to throw the same argument in my face – that the sex was too incredible to give up, until we burned out on it – and I can’t go through that. Whatever courage I’d built up before going to bed with him was shattered when I realized just how far I’d already fallen for him. What I thought was a friendly case of intense lust and genuine affection ran so much deeper, and I know that I can’t risk flying back there. If I do, I’ll stay and do it. Fuck him for fun – and then what would be left of me, and of my heart, in the end?
No. I have to cut myself off now, while I’m still able to function.
Grabbing my keys, I take one last look at myself in the mirror, checking my eyes to make sure the concealer I used under them is doing its job. I haven’t slept for shit since collapsing with exhaustion when I got home, and it’s starting to show. But since there’s nothing I can do about it, I turn away from the unforgiving mirror and head out.
As I open my front door, flinching when the bright California sunshine hits my eyes for the first time in days, my initial thought is that I must be hallucinating. Through the glare of golden light, I think I see a tall, muscular guy dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, leaning back against a sleek, black sports car. He’s got familiar broad shoulders and dark hair, with an air of alpha arrogance about him that’s so freaking sexy, and I press my hand against the center of my chest as a bolt of pain slams into me.
I shake my head a little as I get closer, a nearby jacaranda tree blocking the sun enough that I’m able to see him clearly, and shock slams into me so hard I nearly fall back on my ass.
It’s Jase! Jase-Freaking-Beckett is parked in front of my apartment! And he looks . . . God, he looks delicious, but exhausted, like he hasn’t slept in days. My lips part, but it takes me two tries before I’m able to croak, ‘Wh-what are you doing here?’
He straightens and steps away from the car, which brings him close enough that I can see the frustration burning in those dark-lashed, beautiful blue eyes. ‘I expected a proper goodbye, Emmy.’
I gape at him, which probably makes me look like a fish. But I can’t help it. This is just too bizarre. ‘Jase, what the hell are you doing here?’
He works his jaw for a moment, while his dark gaze moves over me, taking me in. And then he just grates, ‘We need to talk.’
‘And say what? I already told you I can’t accept your offer of some super fun fuck time in the UK,’ I snap, sounding so bitter that I cringe. I’m also talking way too loudly, and I give a fervent prayer that my nosy grump of a neighbor, Mr Jennings, is already out for the day.
Jase lifts one of his big, masculine hands, his biceps looking freaking mouthwatering as he shoves his fingers back through his hair. The thick, silky locks are already tousled, either by the wind or his hands, and if I had to guess, I’d pick the latter.
Completely ignoring what I’ve said, he tells me, ‘I would have been here sooner, but I had to get some things settled in London before I could take off.’
‘Oh,’ I murmur, too freaking confused to figure out what’s going on. Is he here for business? For me? For sex? ‘How long are you here for?’ I ask, thinking his answer might clarify things a bit.
‘That’s what I had to get settled. I’m staying at the Hotel Del out on Coronado, and I plan to stay there for as long as it takes.’
His response just confuses me even more. ‘As long as what takes?’
‘For us to make this solid.’ His smoldering blue gaze is locked so hard on mine, I couldn’t have looked away to save my life. ‘If that’s what you want.’
‘I . . . I’m . . . God, Jase. Is that what you want?’
‘It is. I want you, Em. I don’t know how to say it any clearer than that,’ he husks, and the flush of color on his cheekbones tells me his emotions are running just as high as mine. ‘I fucking want you, and I don’t want to lose you. Not again. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep that from happening.’
‘Holy shit,’ I breathe, feeling light headed. ‘Is this for real?’
A frown starts to knit its way between his dark brows. ‘Of course it is.’
‘And I’m . . . I’m just meant to believe you?’
‘I’m here, aren’t I?’
In that moment, I’m nothing but chaos, and I cling to my anger in a desperate bid for focus and balance. ‘But you said that—’
He cuts me off, growling, ‘I said a lot of shitty things, I know. And you’re the one who threw me away. But I chased after you anyway, because I fucking care about you.’
Those words on his lips, spoken in his deep, gravelly, accented voice, are nearly my undoing. But I’m too pissed to back down, and God only knows what my neighbors must be thinking, because I shout, ‘You can’t throw away something you never had!’
‘You never even tried to have me,’ he bites out. ‘We had one argument, and then you ran.’
‘You didn’t give me any reason to stay! Because like I said before, “we’re good at screwing each other” doesn’t count!’
‘Why the fuck do you think I’m here now?’ he roars, and before I can respond, I’m flying through the air. The Neanderthal actually tosses me over his shoulder like a fireman, his long legs eating up the yards of cracked concrete that make up the walkway as he heads right for my front door.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ I seethe, banging my fists against his back.
‘I’m not doing this on the street.’
‘Then don’t do it at all,’ I snap, wriggling when I feel him reach into the back pocket of my shorts for my keys. He’d obviously seen me slip them in there, and the bastard gets lucky when he tries the right one first. As he opens my front door, I snarl, ‘Just get back in your fancy rental car and drive back to the goddamn airport!’
‘You don’t mean that,’ he grunts, kicking the door shut behind us. He carries me over to my small sofa, drops me on it from so high that I bounce, shoves the coffee table out of his way, and then
leans over and cages me in with his hands braced against the sofa’s back and side. ‘That’s not what you want,’ he says low, his blue eyes like fire as he stares down at me, his chest working hard with his heavy breaths. ‘Not even close.’
‘You have no idea what I want!’
‘Of course I do, Em. You want me. You want me just as badly as I want you. Because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be so damn angry. And now you’re going to shut up for two seconds and listen to what I have to say.’
I cross my arms over my chest and glare up at him.
‘I was too terrified to give you a reason to stay with me in England.’ His deep voice is rougher than I’ve ever heard it. ‘But I’m ready to explain my reasons for coming after you.’
I can tell from the way he’s looking at me, from the raw emotion burning in those incredible eyes, that he’s going to say something that breaks me, and I scream at him to stop it from happening. ‘It’s too late, Jase. It’s too fucking late!’
‘Why?’ he demands, giving me a look that’s as tender as it is fierce. ‘Did you fall for someone else?’
I roll my eyes, since it’s obvious that I haven’t.
Quietly, he says, ‘Emmy, has there been anyone else?’
‘What?’ I scoff. ‘You think I was so upset over you, I had to go and find some new dick to fool around with the instant I was stateside?’
‘Jesus, woman. Just answer the bloody question.’
I want to shout at him again, but my voice comes out soft with pain. ‘And what if there was, Jase? What then?’
‘I’d hate it,’ he says with a hard breath, staring at me so intensely it feels like a physical touch. ‘And I’d want to kill the bastard with my bare hands. But we didn’t have any promises between us, so I’d get the hell over it.’
‘What about you? What have you been doing since I left?’
‘I’ve barely slept, barely eaten. I haven’t been fit to be near, as I’m sure Martin would be happy to tell you. I swear he was about ready to quit on me before I flew out. But I haven’t been with anyone, obviously.’
I arch one eyebrow as I snort with derision. ‘Hardly obvious, Jase.’
‘When I just chased a beautiful, cranky American halfway around the world?’ he asks with a husky laugh.
‘I’m not cranky!’
‘You’re scared,’ he says, his tone so gentle and caring it nearly destroys me. ‘I know, baby. But you don’t need to be.’
I can’t stop the stupid tears that are suddenly burning at the backs of my eyes, but I’m too stubborn to give in.
‘And just to be clear,’ he adds, bringing his gorgeous face even closer to mine, ‘I don’t want any other man laying his hands on you. Not even a finger.’
‘And what about you and all your other women?’
He cocks his head, lips twitching with a sexy smile. ‘There are no other women, Em. I don’t want anyone else. The only woman I want is you.’
‘Why?’
‘Fucked if I know,’ he drawls, that delicious accent of his nearly my undoing.
I glare again and it makes him laugh.
‘You drive me crazy. Run from me. Insult me. But hell if I can stay away from you, sweetheart.’
‘It’s the challenge,’ I snap, clutching at arguments. ‘If you had me, you’d be bored. Lose interest.’
His dark brows lift, and he gives me a knowing look. ‘I’ve already had you. Twice. And you know what? There wasn’t a single boring thing about it. And all I can think about is having you again . . . and again . . . and again.’
I look away and shove my hair back from my face, squeezing my eyes shut. My shoulders lift as I take in a couple of deep, shaky breaths, and without looking at him, I start to say, ‘Jase, we—’
But he cuts me off before I can get another word out.
‘I mean it, Em.’ He grips my chin, pulling my face forward again, and I open my eyes to find him so close our noses are nearly touching, his warm breaths pelting across my trembling lips. ‘It was the fucking best I’ve ever had, and now I’m hooked, woman. Addicted. Obsessed. I want to bury myself inside you and stay there forever.’ His thumb strokes my skin, and his hot, heavy-lidded gaze has me melting like taffy that’s been left out in the sun. ‘But I also want to just hold you and talk to you. Hear you laugh. Watch you smile. And so I left my business in as good of shape as I could, got my arse on a plane, and now I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.’
I don’t know if it’s his words, or the way we’re looking at each other, but something happens. Suddenly we can’t seem to fight the pull a second longer, because I manage to take one quick, shivery breath, and then we’re smashing together like the sea and the shore, and the instant we touch, we go wild on each other. There’s no better way to describe it. He pulls me down longways on the sofa as I rip his shirt up over his head and run my hands over his hard, muscular shoulders. My clothes fly as he brushes his mouth over my jaw, my throat, until he’s bared me completely. Then he twists and turns me, tasting me everywhere, his clever tongue stroking over my tattoos like he’s tasting their meaning on my skin.
We’re all greed and hunger and lust, and I’m so wet for him I’m literally dripping down the insides of my thighs. He drops down on his knees beside the sofa, shoves my thighs as wide as they’ll go, and starts licking up the trails of moisture, working closer and closer to that pulsing, swelling part of me.
‘Your taste makes me so damn hard it hurts,’ he growls against my inner thigh, nipping it with his teeth.
‘I need you,’ I gasp, fisting my hands in his dark hair as his tongue flicks over my slick opening, then shoves inside, and I’m arching from the breathtaking sensation when I feel the tip of his thumb press against the tiny hole buried between my ass cheeks. It makes me cry out, because I’ve never had anyone touch me there. But I’m not surprised, because I knew, from the first time he kissed me, that Jase would be filthy in the sack. And even out of it, considering we’re still in my tiny living room, getting ready to fuck on my sofa.
He licks and laps at me, sucking on my clit, and then running the flat of his tongue nearly all the way down to where his thumb is still stroking that tight, sensitive ring. I come hard and fast, gushing against his open mouth as he swallows and growls, drinking me down. Then he jerks up, ripping his jeans open as he takes a condom out of his back pocket, and I know in about five seconds he’s going to be shoving that massive cock inside me. But there’s something I need first, and I cry, ‘Wait! Just wait. It’s my turn.’
He stills, staring at me in confusion. ‘What?’
‘I thought I would never get the chance to get my mouth on you,’ I pant, swiftly moving to my knees, ‘and it killed me. So get up here. Now.’
‘Fuck,’ he grunts, as I push him into a corner of the sofa and tug his jeans and boxers over his hips, my hungry gaze glued to the beautiful sight of his heavy cock as it springs out, bouncing against his ridged abs. Veins bulge over the dark, silky shaft, the bruise-colored head shiny and slick, and as I lick my lips, he curses something gritty and raw under his breath.
‘Shh,’ I murmur, already lowering my head as I kneel beside him. ‘Just relax and let me have some fun.’
‘I’m not gonna last two seconds,’ he groans, sounding more excited than I’ve ever heard him, and there’s a smile on my lips as I feel him pull my hair to the side so he can watch. The skin on the crown of his cock is taut and wet with salty drops of pre-cum, and as I swipe at them with my tongue, I love the guttural sound that rumbles up from his chest. But I’m in no mood to tease, so I open my mouth and push down, determined to take as much of his big, thick dick as I can, desperate to make it as good for him as he’s done for me. I suck hard as I stroke him with my wet mouth, and I gag a little as the fat head hits the back of my throat, but force myself to breathe through it, loving how wild it’s making him. He’s sweating and cursing and his muscles are so firm it’s like he’s been chiseled from a block of granite. He’s all thick
veins and stiff lines of sinew, his abs so cut he could grace the cover of any romance book and have readers all over the world drooling over him.
But he’s mine. Every hot, thick, delicious inch of him, and I’ve never imagined that I could enjoy making a guy lose control the way I’m enjoying it now.
And he’s definitely losing it. His head goes back, eyes squeezed shut, both hands fisted in my hair, and I watch him greedily from under my lashes. Watch the way his corded throat works as he gives a hard swallow. The way his broad chest rises and falls with his choppy breaths.
‘Emmy,’ he growls, and I look up again to find his heavy-lidded gaze locked in on me, sharp and tight. The blue is raging and violent, like a storm-tossed sea, telling me everything I need to know. His jaw goes rigid, his nostrils flare, and his grip on my hair tightens, holding me still as he starts jacking himself into my open mouth. He goes deep, gagging me again, but I work through it, sucking on him with everything I’ve got, and he starts to shudder.
‘No more,’ he snarls, suddenly pulling my head back, his thick shaft slipping from my mouth.
‘What? Why?’ I gasp, knowing he was close. That I’d almost taken him over the edge. And while this has never been my thing in the past, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t freaking love the feel of Jase Beckett throbbing between my lips, while his mouthwatering scent filled my head.
‘I haven’t had you in days,’ he bites out, grabbing the condom packet he’d tossed on to the arm of the sofa when I made it clear that I wanted to go down on him. He rips the packet open with his teeth, and his hands are shaking as he smooths it over his dark, bulging shaft. ‘When I come,’ he says, ‘I’m coming inside you, Emmy. As deep inside you as I can get.’
The next thing I know, he’s pulled me beneath him, my back to the sofa, legs spread wide, and his gorgeous body is coming down over me, his weight braced on one hand by my shoulder, while he fists his cock with the other.