Keep Me Closer (A Dangerous Tides Novel) Read online

  A moment later, a clearly emotional male voice could be heard asking, “Did you hear my question, Dr. Cramer? Who was the man with you tonight?”

  “He’s, uh, just a friend.”

  “Are you sleeping with him?”

  “Clay, I’m worried about you. Why . . . why did you come to see me today?”

  Alex shot her a sharp look, wondering why the hell she was being so casual with the bastard, but she motioned for him to stay quiet.

  “What did you expect me to do after you filed that stupid report with the sheriff’s department? You left me no choice!” Shepherd made a thick, ragged sound of frustration. “The last couple of years have been so dark. The only perfect moments were when you were with me at the hospital in Miami. You were so gentle. So . . . thoughtful. I just wanted to find that again. To show you how much you mean to me.”

  “By pulling a knife on me tonight?”

  “I need to show you, Dr. Cramer, to make you see things clearly, and I don’t know how else to do that. Don’t you understand? It won’t keep eating away at me inside if you just give in. If you just love me back, everything will be okay.”

  Gently, she said, “Clay, I think you’re hurting and that you need to talk to someone.”

  It sounded as if the guy was crying, but there was an unmistakable edge of rage to his next words. “Did you know that you’re the only woman who has ever made me feel like a man, and not some pathetic little worm? Do you think I don’t know what that means?”

  Though she was shivering, Alex was amazed by how calm she sounded. “I treated you the same way I treat all my patients. I just wanted you to heal.”

  “I know that’s what you need the others to think.” Hostility made Shepherd’s voice lash like a whip. “But I could tell you wanted more. You’re just afraid.”

  “That’s not true, Clay. You’re confused. You need—”

  “I just need you! Like I told you at your office that day, there is no other woman more perfect than you are. Your body. Your smile. The shape of your breasts and thighs and the huskiness of your voice. I dream about the things I need to do to you. The things I need you to do to me. You can make me clean again. You can burn away my sins. You can save me!” His voice was rising, seething with emotion. “I’ll make you do it, Dr. Cramer. Whether you want to or not. You don’t have any choice. I’m taking all your choices away from you. But only because I love you.”

  She flinched as if she’d been struck. “Is that why you defaced my home tonight? That wasn’t love, Clay.”

  There was nothing for a moment but the heavy, erratic sound of his breathing. And then, “That was your fault. You made me angry when you refused to come away with me.”

  “Why would I go anywhere with you when you hurt me?”

  Softly, he said, “I’ll hurt you again.”

  Her fingers were gripping the phone so tightly now that Alex was surprised it hadn’t cracked. “Why?”

  “Because it will make you love me.”

  “No, Clay. Fear is not love. I know it might seem that way right now. But it’s not. What happened to you three years ago, that wasn’t done out of love.”

  “You’re wrong. It was done to make me love her!”

  “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t.”

  Nothing but Shepherd’s ragged breathing filled the line, and Alex noticed that Brit didn’t mention the most recent attack that had taken place at the frat party, focusing on the abuse he’d suffered at the hands of his own mother instead. He assumed that was where she believed Shepherd’s problems lay, which made sense. He didn’t have a lot of the details, but from what he’d read, the abuse had been horrific.

  “Clay, do you honestly love your mother? Is that what you feel when you think of what she and Hennings did to you?” she asked, prompting Shepherd to break his silence.

  “No!”

  “Then why do you think it will make me—”

  The line went dead, and Alex took the phone from her trembling hand, setting it back in the cradle. When he lifted his gaze back to hers, he asked, “How did he get your home number?”

  She was rubbing her hands over her bare arms, staring at a distant spot on the wall as if it was suddenly going to give her all the answers.

  “How, Brit?”

  She pulled her lower lip through her teeth, took a deep breath, and finally said, “I have a number for my patients that I can either program to a personal number, like my home or my cell, or have go directly to the clinic’s answering service.”

  Without another word, he paced away from her and grabbed his phone from his pocket. Ryder answered on the second ring, and Alex brought him up to date on the call, telling him to get the department’s tech guys to work on tracing the call as soon as possible, hoping it would give them the location where Clay had called from. Then he gave the deputy a message for Ben and Mike, told him he’d talk to him in the morning, and slipped the phone back in his pocket.

  When he looked over at Brit, she was still standing there rubbing her arms, her mind a million miles away. “Just how far do you think this guy is willing to go?” he asked her, drawing her attention back to him.

  “I don’t know. But he’s clearly in need of psychiatric care.”

  “I get where you’re coming from. I really do. But I just don’t buy it, Doc. I know there are people out there who need help. But he’s not what you think he is. Not anymore.”

  Her eyes went wide. “What do you mean?”

  With a shrug, he said, “I don’t know. I’m just going from my gut.”

  “Well, your gut isn’t going to get him well.”

  “I’m not interested in getting him well,” he countered in a terse tone. “Just in keeping you safe.”

  She obviously didn’t know what to say to that particular statement, because she turned away from him and started transferring the clothes she’d stacked on her bed into a brown leather duffel bag. He watched her for a moment, then forced himself to look away. His gaze unfortunately settled on the bed, and stuck. He stared at that fucker as if he’d never seen one before, unable to stop himself from imagining what she would look like laid out over the dusky purple bedding, so creamy and smooth and deliciously curved.

  Finally, he rubbed a rough hand over his mouth, then made himself turn and head back downstairs. He waited at the bottom until she came down with her bag, then took it from her. After she’d reset the alarm and locked up, they made the drive to his condo in silence, while the radio played low in the background. The trip should have only taken about ten minutes, but he made a few extra turns while making sure they weren’t being followed, which stretched it out to almost twenty. He had a garage around the back, but usually just parked on the curb in front of his condo for convenience. It was an upscale community with a stellar crime rate, so he didn’t have any worries about leaving the Range Rover on the street.

  He grabbed the doc’s bag from his backseat, then led her up the walkway to the front door of his two-story unit. For some reason, he was almost embarrassed as he opened the door and flicked on a light, knowing how the condo must look in her eyes. The building itself was attractive, but the inside, while clean, wasn’t anything to brag about. Decorating hadn’t really been on his mind much since he’d gotten the place, which meant it was furnished for efficiency and nothing more. But he’d done well enough with his stock portfolio that the few things he had were at least good quality. A long brown leather sofa stretched across from the eighty-inch widescreen mounted on the wall, while several comfortable leather chairs sat on either end of the rustic coffee table, and there was one end table with a silver lamp on it. Several remotes sat on the coffee table, but other than that there weren’t any knickknacks. No throw pillows, or rugs, or pictures on the walls.

  A small hallway branched off on the right, leading to a downstairs bathroom and his home office. Straight ahead ther
e was an archway into his kitchen, and to the left a large alcove he used for his dining room, which had sliding glass doors that led out to his fenced-in patio.

  He sensed her quietly taking it all in, then he gestured toward the stairs. “Spare room is up there.”

  She moved past him and climbed the stairs without comment, never looking back, which was a good thing, since he still couldn’t keep his eyes off her body as he followed behind her with her bag. That heart-shaped ass of hers made his mouth water and his dick take notice every damn time it was in front of him.

  When she reached the upstairs hallway, he said, “It’s the one on the left.”

  She opened the door, and stepped into the room after flicking on the light. This room was even more sparsely furnished than his downstairs, with nothing more than a double bed, small bedside table with a lamp, and a tall chest of drawers that he stored his sweaters in. But it was clean and had its own private bath, so at least they wouldn’t have to be sharing. He didn’t think he could handle standing in his shower knowing that her naked ass had just been in there moments before, the citrusy scent of her soap and hair products tickling his nose.

  Shit, he’d probably end up wasting all the hot water while he jacked off, which would just put him in a bad mood. He fucking hated cold showers.

  “Are the sheets clean?” she asked, interrupting his thoughts with the rude question he knew was meant to insult him.

  He gave her a dark look that didn’t require any words.

  Lifting her hands, she said, “I was just checking. From what I hear, you don’t exactly go for class when you’re banging out your manly needs these days.”

  Somehow, he kept his tone low and controlled, unwilling to verbally rise to her bait. “You’re the only woman, other than Reese and Lily, who has even been in this condo, Doc. And I’m not fucking either one of them.”

  He hated how adorable he found her smirk. “Good to know. Their husbands would kick your ass.”

  “I know how to handle my brother,” he told her, setting her bag on the moss green comforter that covered the bed.

  “And Ryder?”

  Lifting a hand, he rubbed his jaw as he slid his gaze toward hers. “He can be a scary fuck, I’ll give you that.”

  She laughed, the look on her face telling him she was surprised he wasn’t carrying around an ego so big it made him think he could take on any man, any time. He took a step back, his pulse quickening at the deliciously feminine, husky sound of her laughter, and he knew he needed to get the hell out of there.

  Since they’d had pizza at the station, he didn’t need to feed her dinner, so he asked, “You gonna be able to sleep?”

  She nodded as she breathed out a soft, tired sigh. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this exhausted in my life.”

  “Then I’ll see you in the morning,” he muttered, crossing the room and closing the door behind him as fast as he could without looking like he was running.

  But he knew damn well that he was.

  3

  BRIT WAS UP AND DRESSED BY SEVEN THE NEXT MORNING, BUT ALEX was already waiting for her down in the living room, reading the news on his tablet. He had his long body sprawled in one of the leather chairs that sat perpendicular to his sofa, and was dressed in his usual work attire of jeans, black leather boots, and white button-down shirt that looked great on his broad shoulders and with his tanned complexion. His shoulder holster was already strapped on over the shirt, and there was a dark gray sports jacket lying over the back of the other chair, which she knew he’d put on to cover up the gun when they left the condo.

  “Any word on Clay?” she asked, before clearing her throat. Her voice had gone a little too breathless by the end of her question, and all because Alex had looked up at her as she entered the room, his pale grayish-green eyes noticeably warming with appreciation as he checked her out from the top of her head down to her toes. She’d worn her hair loose, letting the auburn waves fall around her shoulders, and had chosen a sleeveless, fitted champagne silk sheath in deference to the heat, along with a pair of comfortable but stylish suede ankle boots with a three-inch heel. Her only jewelry was a pair of silver Tiffany hoops in her ears that Ben and Reese had given her for Christmas, a silver ring, and matching silver bangle.

  “Alex?” she prompted, when he just continued to sit there, staring at her.

  He shook his head as if to bring himself out of a daze, then answered her question about Clay. “They’re still looking for him. It won’t take long before they uncover the rock he’s hiding under. Guy’s not thinking straight.”

  “That doesn’t mean he can’t be clever.”

  “True. But it also means that he’s more likely to make a mistake.” Setting the tablet on the coffee table, he moved to his feet. He was tall, like his brothers, a few inches over six feet, and it was hard as hell not to stare at the way his jeans molded over his long, muscular thighs. “You ready for some breakfast?” he asked her, drawing her gaze back up to his.

  “You’re cooking?”

  A smirk twisted his killer mouth at the sound of her surprise. “I’m trying to keep you alive, Doc, not kill you. But I can manage toasted bagels and cream cheese.”

  “Oh, um, thank you. That sounds great.”

  Bemused and more than a little uncertain, feeling as if she’d awakened in some kind of alternate reality where Alex Hudson wasn’t a total ass, Brit followed him into the kitchen. He denied her offer to help, telling her to take a seat at the small pine table situated in the cozy breakfast nook. He gave her a cup of coffee doctored with cream and sugar, just the way she liked it, then started on the bagels. Sitting back in her chair, Brit used the moment to simply watch him as he moved around the small but clean kitchen.

  She honestly didn’t think she’d ever seen a more beautiful male. He was lean and hard and obviously well-hung, if the bulge in his jeans was anything to go by. And he was so damn gorgeous it was hard to breathe when she looked at him. He was that freaking incredible, possessing every rugged, masculine thing that she loved about the opposite sex.

  Biting her lip, she realized that she’d probably made the wrong decision. Last night, when she’d been putting the last few things into her bag, she’d been tempted to grab her vibrator and bring it along. To vibe or not to vibe? That was the question that had run through her head, and she snorted to herself, wondering if the stress was taking its toll on her mind. She was worried about Clay, worried about herself, worried about spending so much time with Alex. The guy was as mercurial as, well, mercury. Okay, so the analogy wasn’t all that original, but she was tired, damn it. Not to mention under a tremendous amount of stress. She really couldn’t stress that point enough, even if she was repeating herself.

  In the end, she’d decided it was best to leave the vibrator behind. But now, given the panty-soaking view, she was pretty sure she’d made the wrong call.

  Needing to get her mind onto another topic, she took a drink of her coffee and asked, “So what’s the plan for the day? I’m guessing you have cases right now that need your attention. You can’t drop everything just to keep an eye on me. That’s ridiculous.”

  “I won’t need to drop everything,” he murmured, standing with his back to her as he took the bagels out of the toaster. “I’m going to have a talk with the security guards at McNamara when I take you into work. I’m assuming you have appointments all day with your patients, right?”

  “Today, yes. The same for tomorrow.”

  “Then you’ll be safe at the office during the day. I’ll pop by from time to time to check on things, but he isn’t going to make a move on you there in broad daylight, and you won’t be driving yourself.” He shot her a hard look over his shoulder. “And no leaving the office with anyone during the day. If your friends go out for lunch, have them bring you something back. I don’t want you out and about town unless I’m with you.”

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p; “So I wait at work all day like a good little girl, until you come to pick me up. And then what? How long do you think we can do this before killing each other?”

  He muttered something under his breath that she couldn’t quite make out, but didn’t offer her a response.

  “I’m serious, Alex. You can’t just put your life on hold because some woman you know has a problem. No one expects that of you. If this is about Ben and what he expects you to do, then tell him he’s crazy. I certainly plan to.”

  “I don’t care what anyone expects. Never have, and I’m not about to start now. And you’re not just some woman I know, Doc. You’re close to my family. That makes it different.”

  She was glad he didn’t try to claim they were friends or anything equally ridiculous.

  “I’m just not comfortable with this, Alex. It’s incredibly unfair to you. At least let me pay you or something. Whatever rate you would normally charge your clients.”

  He went completely still, gripping the edge of the counter with his big hands. She listened as he exhaled deeply, then he slowly turned around, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the countertop. His brows were pinched, and his voice was gritty. “Don’t be so goddamn insulting. I don’t need your money. And I’m not taking it.”

  “All right,” she murmured, twisting her hands in her lap in a nervous gesture that was completely unlike her. “I apologize for insulting you. It wasn’t my intention.”

  He gave one of those low, irritating grunts in response, but she bit her tongue instead of calling him on it. The guy was feeding her, not to mention turning his life upside down to help her out, so she figured she could let the grunting thing slide. For the moment, at least.

  “So, I have a question,” he said, after setting two plates down on the table and taking the chair across from her.

  She took another sip of her coffee, surprised by how good it tasted, and nodded for him to go on.

  Smearing cream cheese onto half of his bagel, he asked, “What do you have against the name Brittany?”